Don’t panic, breathe. Don’t stress. I've got to find a gift for her, come on. What a horrible smell, puke. She will probably just give me soap, anyway. It’s getting dark outside. Make up? Does she like blue, dark green, purple? Maybe I could get her a sandwich, don’t be daft, oh, I should have eaten. Those bottles of shampoo are staring at me. Jingle bells... I’m getting dizzy, so many things, big, small, huge. I should be working on my essay; no, I need to find her that gift. I know what she likes, for goodness sake. Price tags. Too expensive, too cheap. How much money have I got in my account? Teddy bears that smell of perfume. We're not children any more. I hated my childhood. Stop pushing me, you old hag. She might like that. Let go of it! She looks like a badger. I must get something to eat, mustn't forget to call Mum on Skype. Stop grinning at me. I'd like to punch you in the face. I want chocolate.
She likes necklaces, how about that one? It’s tacky. I hate gold, I really do. I could buy her some chocolate? God I’m so hot, I need to get this woolly jumper off. I could have gone online shopping: this is like shopping in a jungle. Poor woman she’s got four small children. Brats. Maybe she would like My Little Pony? Oh, she does love Hello Magazine, ouch I cut myself.
I wonder what Mum and Dad will get me for Christmas. Walking in a winter wonderland... I want a cream cracker with cheese and a big glass of wine. Five pounds, ten pounds. I need a cup of tea. I wish it were Halloween so I could scare you people to death! Maybe she would like a parrot; she loves birds. I need to find some gift paper.
Why is there war in Syria? My stomach is rumbling even louder. I should do my secret Santa as well. What will she get me? Something really nice, maybe. I shouldn't spend my money on her, she hates me. Why does Frodo Baggins leave the shire? Why don’t I leave this shop? I should get her a card. Not much choice, half-naked men with Christmas hats covering their privates, good grief. I should go the gym more often. Maybe a card with holly on it. Christmassy. Tick, tock, damn you stupid clock. Maybe a tube of lip-gloss? She hates pink. I need to take my dog for a walk. She likes music. I must tidy my room. Maybe a perfume that smells of apples? I need some new socks. Her favourite colour is blue.
Another Christmas song! Play something else. I could get her an iTunes gift card? I must stop biting my nails. Getting darker outside. Gloves? She does like hand cream. I need a longer skirt. So many creams. I hate goats. Essay. I must charge my Mac. I could get her the One Direction DVD. Why did Taylor dump Harry? Earrings too big. Maybe I should colour my hair blue. She hates big rings. I wish I could dance like Jennifer Lopez. I know she will comment if it is cheap. I’m starving. A Dalek poster? I should eat more fruit and veg. It’s Christmas, I could get her a box of Quality Street. Miley Cyrus is such a slut. This will do. She will gain weight. I would really like to go to Australia one day. Just five minutes till closing time. I should have got a handbag. Why does my advent calendar have such small chocolates? Do I want a bag? Debit card in. Money paid. Why is she smiling? I need to go to bed earlier. Remove card. God he's breathing heavily. Your breath stinks. Thank you. My clothes need to be washed. Will she like her present?
Damn, I forgot my woolly hat. My scarf is strangling me. Christmas songs on the brain. I must find a man. Two hundred words to go on the essay. I must exercise in January. I must get a new coat, what are you looking at? I’m starving. I need to sit down. I’m broke. Stop singing at me, stupid children's choir. Should I take a Master? Would that help? I hate snow. My life sucks. That bench looks horrible. Man in Santa suit is winking at me. He is! Dirty old man. Oh damn, my feet are aching. Spoiled brat. Stop staring at me, kid. My favourite programme is on, damn it. God I'm glad I don't live on campus any more. I love karaoke. I need a small shot of vodka. I need to pee. I must remember to buy more bread. Fifty pence on the ground, I’m rich, I must leave it where I found it. My headaches are getting worse; nobody likes me.
I will finish the essay tonight. Bibliography. Keats or Austen? I must diet, no I’m thin enough, come on move. I hate walking past choirs, singing holy this and holy that, why don’t you just shut up, wow the Christmas tree is beautiful. I love that dress in the window. I forgot my gloves. Who cares? Mum. I must buy a new printer. I don’t want to go home, I hate you all. My ankle! Ouch, that hurt, please don’t look at me, I must look stupid. Oh God, there he comes... He hasn’t even noticed me. I hate that bimbo. I need to get up the hill. I’m so out of shape. I hate you drunks. I need a drink. I wonder what would happen if I lay down and died? They wouldn’t care. Stupid feet, stop aching, I must find another bench, God bless the person who put benches here. I’m so hungry, stomach please stop rumbling. I want something sweet. Stupid lid. God, that Quality Street is good.